An Upgrade to the Golden Rule

Do unto others

as you would have others do unto you.

  The Golden Rule

 

 

 

How do you want to be treated? We each have an answer to that question, and our answers may have different details, but most can be summed up as being treated with kindness.

If you want to be treated kindly, the answer is simple: treat other people kindly. Of course, kindness has many expressions. A smile and pleasant comment are kind. Perhaps that is all that you would want from a stranger, so that is what you give. It forms a connection in the moment, and it is good for both of you.

The Golden Rule says, “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you,” but that's not always enough. We need to upgrade to a Platinum Rule, where we "Do unto others as they would have us do unto them.”

This is an over-due compassionate upgrade to the Rule.

The challenge with the original version is that it assumes that everyone else would need what I need, and more importantly, would not need what I do not need. The underlying assumption is that we are all alike; but in reality, we are vastly different in many ways, often not recognized even by good-hearted, kind people.

Kindness is love in action, and when we are guided by love, we relate to the other person with an openness to understand what they need. This goes beyond a passing pleasantry. It asks more from us.

If you move the rule from your head to your heart, then the upgrade makes sense in every circumstance. The question now becomes: “What is the loving thing that I can do in this moment with this particular person in front of me?”

Kind acts are built on understanding what the other person needs. We often don’t know, so we begin with something as simple as a smile and nod of the head.

I’m thinking now – and there are many other good examples – of people who are without homes, living on the street, usually because of situations in their lives beyond their control or conditions that are different from those that most people have to deal with.

In that case, what do they need that I do not? The first is empathy.

I am called to relate to them where they are, not projecting my life onto them, expecting them to respond to their challenges in the way that I would. If I had been walking their life journey, I would be different than who I am and I would respond differently to life’s challenges than I do now.

For most of us, when we see someone who is struggling, we choose to ignore the person, because we don’t know how to relate to them, or we don’t want to get involved. But what if we knew that we could easily give them what they most want?

In recent surveys of people living on the street, researchers were surprised to find that what people wanted most was not food or medical care or a home, but just to be seen and acknowledged. Of course, their other needs were important, but being ignored as if they did not exist was the most painful part of their experience.

Knowing that helps us to step out of our comfort zone with a simple smile and greeting, not just for homeless folks, but for others as well. Making a human connection could change a person’s day in ways we can’t imagine.

Kindness can take many different forms, including acknowledging someone, listening to understand them, and relating to them as they are, without judgment.

If the initial greeting with a stranger went well, we might engage them in a conversation. As we learned more about their journey or their hopes and dreams, we would discover how much we have in common, and it might open the door for a next step - perhaps returning later with something they need.

That next step depends on how the first few minutes went. But even the smile and greeting has been a gift to them, and to you.

An Invitation:

Are there people that you pass in your daily life without acknowledging them? Are you open to stepping out of your comfort zone?

Please leave a comment below to let us know how it went.

     Image by peachpink from Pixabay

Help us spread the message of kindness. If you know others who might appreciate these ideas, please share below.

We’re grateful that you are on this journey with us.

With love from our hearts to yours,

Pat and Larry