Living with Kindness Is a Choice
What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide
what kind of difference you want to make.
- Jane Goodall -
As Larry and I continue to explore what it means to us to live with kindness, we have discovered that there are several aspects of the kindness path that are defined by words that begin with the letter C.
Here is a good starting point:
Choice
Choosing kindness is a choice of love over the fear and despair that cause many people to stop believing in their power to make a difference in the world, even in their own lives.
It is a conscious choice to be on a path of kindness, no matter how other people show up.
That choice for us is grounded in our vision of the world we want to live in. We have a vision of a better world in which more people live with kindness and consideration for each other. That has become the template for our lives today.
When we choose to live that way, our lives help to strengthen the power of love and kindness in the world. We uplift our own lives and the lives of those we encounter.
Being on a kindness path is not just about random acts of kindness. It is a choice to become the change we wish to see in the world. It is a conscious decision to live as love in action.
Think of yourself as love with its work boots on, not passively sitting at home thinking kind thoughts, but out in the world, bringing love with you wherever you go. When you make that choice, you engage the transformative power of love in your life.
When you choose a kindness path, you are not just choosing to act kindly. You are choosing to be kind because that becomes who you are. With that realization, you understand that it is never about how someone else is behaving. It is about you – who you choose to be.
What is a Kindness Path?
We each walk a kindness path in our own unique way. There is no right or wrong way.
For some people, it means continuing their habit of small acts of kindness as they go through their day.
For some, it may mean expanding their circle of kindness to include people they had passed by but had not noticed before, as if they were just part of the background in their daily lives.
For some people, it may mean joining together with others by volunteering for an organization that is helping people meet their needs or enhance their lives in some way.
Each path makes a difference in their lives and in the world.
Allowing Others
A key to walking any kindness path is choosing to allow other people to show up as they are. That means not overreacting to them, no matter how they behave.
When my daughter, Christie, was a pre-teen, she was with me in a store as I was checking out. I don’t remember what was said, but I felt the cashier had been rude to me, and I was unkind in my response. I remember feeling a certain self-righteousness – How dare she talk to me that way!
I noticed Christie looked uncomfortable. When I asked her later about it, she told me she had been embarrassed. That was a wake-up call for me. It forced me to look at myself, and what I saw wasn’t pretty.
I knew that I had to change my reactions to others. It has been a long process. I still catch myself reacting with annoyance or impatience from time to time, but I feel better, now, than I used to feel about how I usually show up in the world.
We do not go from reacting to allowing overnight. I have failed many times to respond with kindness. Our automatic reactions are habitual. Changing them takes time and a desire to change how we interact with others.
It helps me when I realize that I do not have enough information to judge others. I do not know their life story, and if I did, I would probably understand why they’re making the choices that they are making now in their lives.
But I don’t need to know their story. I can be kind because it is who I am – rather than being unkind, because of who I judge them to be.
We have to be patient with ourselves on this journey. It takes practice. But first it takes awareness. We start by noticing our own thoughts and feelings and how we express them. Then we notice the response of others to how we treat them.
It is a journey. We take one step at a time, as we’re building a new habit. Notice how much better you feel when you bring kindness rather than annoyance with you when you go out in the world.
I invite you to choose your own kindness path and to explore, with us, as we continue to share the rest of the 9 Cs of kindness.
Above all, enjoy your journey.
Image by reneebigelow from Pixabay
We invite you to enjoy our favorite song about choice:
I CHOOSE LOVE - SHAWN GALLAWAY
The 9 Cs of kindness are words that describe important aspects of a kindness journey. We invite you to check them out: Choice, Commitment, Connection, Curiosity, Courage, Compassion, Change, Community, Celebration
This post of kindness, Planting Seeds, makes me think of something I just read this morning about my local library having a seed bank for free to borrow and plant some seeds for food and hopefully that borrower will return some fresh seeds to the seed bank for others. This is a great example of receiving and giving back.
In my elder wisdom years I have realized that I can more easily except kindness from other with gratitude and give more acts of kindness especially when I slow down and not be so scheduled in life. Most people like to be acknowledged with acts of kindness from a smile with eye contact, opening a door, letting someone go first in line to check out groceries or whatever, small conversation while waiting in line, a compliment and etc. and etc. But most people, including myself sometimes are hesitant to accept help beyond the above examples. I know I was brought up to work, work and work and save, save and save and be self-sufficient. Now, I am changing some of these old en-grained thoughts knowing they are not so healthy for a happy life with lower stress.
I really think about kindness everyday and try to practice it. My smile since birth is an easy first step and fortunately it comes naturally. People seem to like a smile from a short elder woman with silver hair! I connect like minded people that I think would be good for each other. I try to think of ways to help people,esp. my close friends. Being non-judgemental is an ongoing good practice for me. Volunteering with the homeless and less fortunate is a good practice for me to not be judgemental, but sometimes my buttons get pushed. After volunteering, I go home and and work it out with myself and try to be better the next week. l had a real bad case of covid with pneumonia a year ago. When I asked my friends for help, they did not hesitate to help me and I did not hesitate to accept, which was a big deal for me. It was so, so nice to know they had my back with loving kindness.
Thank you, Maggie.
You really do brighten up a room,
and I know that it gives you pleasure,
knowing that you brighten other people’s day.
That is great thing to hear is love ,thus country is in trouble because of the lack of it
I agree, Jim.
Love from one of us does make a small difference,
but when we realize that there are many of us, we can see how,
together, we turn this country around.
Thank you for your comment.